


My crazy life part 12

by NordicPossession



Series: Humor [12]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mummy: The Animated Series
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28397787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NordicPossession/pseuds/NordicPossession
Relationships: Friends - Relationship
Series: Humor [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1607026





	My crazy life part 12

**Luba:** Hey Imhotep, I washed your gym stuff. Your nose plugs went through the dryer.  
**Imhotep:** Dr. Sundram said I have to wear those to prevent infections in my Eustachian tubes.  
**Luba:** Yes, Imhotep. We all know you have sensitive tubes.  
**Imhotep:** What's the matter? It's not cool enough for you?  
**Luba:** What's a big medical problem with you? Ruptured booty?  
**Imhotep:** No, I've never ruptured my booty. One time, I did sprain my groove thing though.  
———————————————————————  
**Imhotep:** You guys get your mail yet?  
**Blee:** No, why?  
**Imhotep:** Because I was just wondering, because we didn't get ours either, you know, and sometimes we might get something of yours, and you might get something of ours.  
**Blee:** What do you get of mine?  
**Imhotep:** You know, I don't know, just junk mail.  
**Blee:** Like what?  
**Imhotep:** Whatever. Uh, flyers and coupons.  
**Blee:** Where are they?  
**Imhotep:** I throw them out.  
**Blee:** You throw out coupons!? That's money!!  
**Imhotep:** Look, I'm just all I'm saying is that you might get some of my mail.  
**Blee:** Well, how much were the coupons for?  
**Imhotep:** I don't know!  
**Blee:** Jeez aloo!! Did you get the one for carpet cleaning!?  
**Imhotep:** I don't know. Maybe.  
**Blee:** That's a $10 coupon!! I was looking for that one!!  
**Imhotep:** All right, look, Blee, I'll give you $20 if you stop talking about this.  
**Blee:** You think I won't take it. I'll take it!!  
**Imhotep:** I'll give it to you!  
**Blee:** It would teach you a lesson!! Come on!!  
**Darth Maul:** No, no! You're not taking his money!  
**Blee:** I'm gonna take it, because how else is he gonna learn!? He's got to stop throwing out people's mail!!  
**Darth Maul:** Well, that's not how you do it. If you want to teach him a lesson, you make him clean the carpet himself. That he'll remember.  
**Blee:** _*sees Imhotep carrying some mail.*_ Is that the mail? Uhp, buhp, buhp, buhp, buhp, buhp!! Hands off, sticky fingers!! _*Blee goes goes through it.*_ Crap...Crap...Crap...Crap... Coupon!! Here's one that made it through!!! Maul, do we need our chimney swept? Here, Imhotep! This is for your collection! _*Blee hands the coupon to Imhotep.*_ Hey. This is a letter for me. Oh, how nice. Oh. Oh, this is odd. It's from Luba.  
**Imhotep:** Ah! You know what that is? That's the invitation to the birthday party, but you already went, and you had a good time.  
**Blee:** No, no, no, no. That's not  
an invitation. No, that's a letter.  
**Imhotep:** It's an invitation. It's got a lot of pages like this because it has directions to our house.  
**Blee:** Now, come on!  
**Imhotep:** Blee!  
**Blee:** This is my mail!! What is wrong with you!? _"dear Blee, This letter has been a long time coming.”_ It must be a thank-you note.  
**Imhotep:** All right, Blee, give it to me now.  
**Blee:** No, no, no, no, no!!! _"for eight years now, I've held my tongue and never told you how hurtful and destructive your behavior can sometimes be."_  
**Imhotep:** Oh.....my.....god.....I have to go!!  
**Blee:** Sit down!!!  
**Imhotep:** Blee, look, it's between you and Luba, and you should go over there and read that yourself and let me out of this mess.  
**Blee:** We have no secrets in this family!! _"just because we are family and happen also to be neighbors does not give you the right to constantly interfere in every aspect of my life. From raising my children to my choice of liquid fabric softener."_  
**Imhotep:** I want you guys to know right now that Luba has a drinking problem!!  
**Blee:** Stop it!! _"I'm sure you don't even realize when you're being overbearing, critical, and intrusive."_ All right, all right. I've heard enough!  
**Imhotep:** Oh, Blee......  
**Blee:** _*starts writing his own letter.* "Dear Luba,”......._  
**Imhotep:** Oh, no, Blee, not another letter, please!  
**Blee:** I'm intrusive? Luba's not the only one who can throw around fancy words! Where's my dictionary!?  
**Imhotep:** Oh, Blee, stop! Blee, she didn't mean it!!  
**Luba:** _*enters the house.*_ Hi, uh, did you guys happen to get the......  
**Darth Maul:** Mail? Oh, yeah!  
**Luba:** Imhotep, did everybody read that?  
**Darth Maul:** You're my new favorite writer!  
**Blee:** Hello, Luba.  
**Luba:** Hello, Blee.  
**Blee:** I got your special delivery.  
**Luba:** Blee, I'm sorry. It was a mistake to send that letter.  
**Blee:** Now!? You say that now!? I got to tell you, your timing sucks!!  
**Luba:** I should have just talked to you face-to-face.  
**Blee:** Go ahead.  
**Darth Maul:** Excuse me but I've dealt with my fair share and everyone should know  
that this is a high risk.......  
**Blee:** Eat your waffles, Maul!!  
**Darth Maul:** All right......  
**Luba:** Look, Blee, I'm sorry that the letter upset you. When I wrote it, I was very angry.  
**Imhotep:** And drunk!  
**Luba:** _*slaps Imhotep across the face.*_ It's just that sometimes you're very hard to talk to, and so I thought I could say it better in a letter.  
**Blee:** I think you said it very clearly, Luba. You think, among other things, that I'm intrusive. Critical. Overbearing. I have always known that you felt that way about me. You think I'm all those things. Well, maybe I wouldn't be that way If I was welcome in your house!  
**Luba:** But, Blee, don't you see? You're over all the time. You don't give me a chance to welcome you.  
**Blee:** Well, I.....Okay, maybe I am those things sometimes, but that's just because that's my way of trying to make us a family. That's all I ever want!  
**Luba:** Well, that is all I want too is for us to be a family, a real family. But I always thought that you didn't like my being in your family. I thought you didn't like me being in your family.  
**Blee:** Why would you say that?  
**Luba:** Well, you know when you bring food over to the house?  
**Blee:** I do it because I care.  
**Luba:** Oh, but, see, I feel like that's a criticism. You know, like you're saying I'm not as good as you.  
**Blee:** You don't have to be as good as me! I love you for what you are!  
**Luba:** Oh I love you too! _*They both hug.*_  
**Blee:** Oh, I'm so glad we talked!  
**Luba:** Yeah, me too. You know what? The gifts are over at that house. You want to come over and get yours?  
**Blee:** Oh, I'd love to, honey! Oh, and the little scraper for potato? I have been missing that.  
**Luba:** Yeah. That's in my house.  
**Blee:** Ooh, I’d love to have that back.  
**Luba:** You got to show me how to make those potatoes.  
**Blee:** I will, and I'll show you how to freeze them. _*They both leave the house.*_  
**Grand Inquisitor:** _*has been in the living room the entire time.*_ What in Hell's Bathroom was that!?  
**Darth Maul:** I......I think it was a fight.  
**Grand Inquisitor:** That's a fight?  
**Darth Maul:** You know, like, uh, a snowflake pansy fight.  
**Grand Inquisitor:** I'm glad we didn't have to pay in order to see that on TV!!  
**Darth Maul:** Quizzy, are you crying?  
**Grand Inquisitor:** No. _*Is actually crying for his sanity after being exposed to this fucked up family a week ago.*_


End file.
